Hey, Y'all. I'm Back in NYC.

Oh, boy. I'm definitely not in NYC anymore

I’ve just returned from a beautiful four days in Charleston, SC. I was, of course, visiting my friend Sabine and her gorgeous daughters. I’ve scoffed behind her back quite a few times about her decision to move to SC from the UWS, but I find myself eating some of my words.

Charleston is absolutely gorgeous, and has the trifecta of  beach, mild weather, and good restaurants. It’s also a proper, albeit small, city. The suburbs don’t feel suburban. Yes, there are strip malls, but the palm trees and coastline do a lot to add charm and give you the sense that you’re on vacation. Well, I was on vacation, so my view may be skewed.

On our first day there we had South Carolina BBQ. I have no idea how Sabine has maintained her svelte physique, because Southern food is SINFUL. Pulled pork, hush puppies, okra done every imaginable way, biscuits. And don’t get me started on the sweet tea. Good lord, it will make your teeth vibrate.

We went to a beach on Sullivan’s Island. It was absolutely littered with coeds wearing tiny bikinis, perfect tans, and unlined faces. Well, unlined until the aftermath of all that tanning starts kicking in at about age 28. I didn’t notice the perfectly toned young men playing frisbee and frolicking all over the place. Nope. Didn’t notice.

Thanks to the College of Charleston, the beaches and bars are kept attractive and lively. I partied like an idiot in the corn fields of Illinois during my college days. I cannot imagine the trouble that these kids get into with the heady aphrodisiac of the beach so close by. I’m sure the STD clinic does a brisk business.

It was not all eating and lounging on the beach. Being with Sabine offers the perk that you will be living a healthy lifestyle. Well, except for all the vodka. And crackers. And lemon curd cake with coconut icing. But I digress…

We went for a few intense interval runs across the Ravenel Bridge, which MILo’s Garmin told us was four miles round trip. The humidity made it feel like eight. I could have guzzled gallons of sweet tea afterwards. But it justified the 9,000 hush puppies I ended up eating on the trip.

We went into downtown Charleston one afternoon to cruise the touristy shops and have some lunch. We had the very good fortune to happen upon the Seed & Feed Marching Abominable (from Atlanta, GA) performing on the steps of the Customs House.

After hearing lively patriotic marching band music, we wandered down the street to investigate.  We were greeted by this:

We happened upon this exuberant band of kooks playing patriotic songs and running around in drag.

Many were dressed in drag, and all of them looked like they were having a hell of a time. It was great fun, and I can’t imagine a more endearing way to celebrate Memorial Day and our country.

The highlight of the trip, thanks to Sabine (aka Julie the Cruise Director), was a sail through the harbor on the Serena. We were joined by two other very very hungover couples. However, they gamely attacked the vodka lemonade and soldiered on.

Everyone decided it would be a good idea to hop overboard and cool off. I, being sophisticated, aloof, and wearing my new precariously tied string bikini, was not very excited about the prospect. But I did it, and it was exhilarating. I’m happy to report that my top stayed on; Sabine was not so lucky. Fortunately for her I was in the water and did not have my bloggin’ camera handy.

Just a few final thoughts from the trip, then you can go back to reading CNN:

• “Sister Christian” is sung by Night Ranger. NOT White Snake. Seriously.
• I think Sabine was pulling my leg when she said I could move to Charleston and study to become an Oncologist Blogologist.
• Quote of the Trip: “Cruise ships: good for business, bad for fashion.” Readers, I regret to say it was true. I shudder at the memory.

I’m happy to see that it is a steamy 85 degrees back here in NYC. It’s the perfect transition from mini-vacation to summer. Click through my slide show. No one is topless:

I just love palm trees. Especially nautical ones

Just LOOK at his shoes. And legs. Must get similar footwear for upcoming Fourth of July celebrations

We happened upon this exuberant band of kooks playing patriotic songs and running around in drag.

Loved the babydoll/hairy back combo on him

Stick a Confederate uniform on him and I’m instantly transported to 1864. Great facial hair

After the festivities over at the Customs House, this beauty pulled around the corner

I am not a fan of the bloody mary, and this one was particularly horrifying. You can see the black pepper floating in it. And it’s garnished with the ubiquitous okra. Sabine said it was delish, but her other half couldn’t tolerate it.

My one and only purchase (er, besides liquor). It’s made from recycled sails. Wipes clean, toss it in the washer. Perfect beach bag, and I have a major thing for anything nautically inspired

A view from downtown Charleston

Stopped in a coffee shop for an iced java, only to find a bunch of people smoking hookahs. Peculiar. I didn’t have enough time to explore the hookah/coffee connection

Chartered for a three hour tour of the harbor. Vodka lemonade and a bracing leap into the water

View of the Ravenel Bridge, which I ran across twice. Beautiful, but a challenging 4-mile roundtrip run. I was absolutely dripping soaking wet afterwards. Humidity is an issue

Oh, boy. I’m definitely not in NYC anymore