Models frolic in Lincoln Center during Fashion’s NIght Out

Hi everyone! I know it’s been seven months since I’ve written anything here, but I’ve been inspired by the New York Times to take up the proverbial pen again. (Plus Avi at the WestSideRag  gave me a nudge.)  On Tuesday they published this article titled “Intersection: Upper West Side Style Is Quiet But Far From Mute.”  Quiet?? I have been screaming my head off for a year that the Upper West Side has style.

So maybe I should be thankful that the NYT deigned decided to highlight our sad little ass-backwards ‘hood. Except I think they did more harm than good. Let’s analyze:

• “We strolled every block from Central Park West to Riverside Park, and from 76th to 81st Streets:”  You mean you went an entire five block radius? You realize the Upper West Side goes up to 96th street at least, right? And what about the area around Columbus Circle and Lincoln Center, where I often see many a well-heeled lady? I know hanging out by Zabar’s will give you that iconic New York backdrop shot you’re looking for, but people generally don’t look their best when they’re going to the grocery store to pick up some whitefish.

Hooray for hyper-local blogging!

SantaCon revelers getting an early start

This Saturday was the first time I’ve actually felt really festive and ready for the holidays. I took the afternoon to go shopping on my own, and the city was hopping and happy.

While stopping for my post-workout coffee at the Starbucks on 93rd and Broadway, I ran into the festive trio at left, and that pretty much set the tone for my day. After making a comment about how that beard looked itchy, I learned that it was SantaCon yesterday, which is basically just a huge bar crawl requiring people to dress up like Santa. (During the course of the day I also saw several slutty Mrs. Claus’, elves, and even an abominable snowman. I’m totally doing SantaCon next year.)

I walked through Columbus Circle and past the park to get to that mecca of all things wonderful, Barneys. During that walk I was given free press-on nails in a really ugly salmon color, and stopped to listen to a quartet sing Christmas carols. (I also fought with a Central Park vendor about not paying $2 for a small bottle of water, and emerged victorious.  Do I look like a tourist??)

A Yeti at Rolf's

I ended the day by gathering my family and heading over to Rolf’s in Gramercy, which is known for heavy German food and the most over-the-top Christmas decorations ever. In hindsight, choosing to go there during SantaCon may have been a questionable decision, but it made it that much more festive. Plus we had a Yeti sighting, which pretty much was the icing on my very festive day.  Check out my pics below:

While running out for some Hale & Hearty on Friday afternoon (I frequently crave their tomato cheddar soup), I spotted a striking woman in front of me near 86th and Broadway wearing some sort of long, ruffled white wrap and the shoes pictured above. I was walking behind her and ran to get a close-up view of these marvels. After momentarily being distracted by her red fishnets and red ruffled ankle socks, I could properly focus on her footwear. I actually stopped her and she graciously let me snap a pic, though I don’t thing she understood a word I was saying. Thank you, mystery lady.

Her shoes look like ice skates with wooden blades. This isn’t necessarily such a wacky thing, style-wise. DSquared showed ice skate boots on their fall 2011 runway (right) that took the prize for most dangerous looking footwear of the season. They actually have metal bottoms, but with rubber soles,  you know, for walking more easily. I really sort of want them. They’re just so completely impractical. I wonder if you can take the rubber bumpers off and actually ice skate in them. Watch out, Lasker Rink.

To really wear them properly, though, do it they way they did on the runway. With a big, fat fur coat:

I was shopping in Boc on Broadway last weekend and started giggling upon seeing the product featured at left. (Boobs are funny, right?) Cleavage Cupcakes are silicone gel inserts for giving the girls a bit of a lift. While the name–and concept, really–are silly, it’s a lot better name than “chicken cutlets,” which is what these gel inserts are sometimes called.  After all, cupcakes are super trendy right now. 

Commando, the company that makes these, also makes “Takeouts,” a larger version, as well as “Top Hats” and “Low Beams” two nipple-concealing products. While these types of products have been around for a while, it still makes me shake my head. And suddenly worry about proper nipple concealment.

*Picture: My Upper West

Back in the beginning of the summer My Upper West published this picture of a woman who was walking around with two different colored legs. This blew my mind in all sorts of ways, and I’m happy to report that the mystery is solved.

Many thanks to commenter Scott, who enlightened me–they are American Apparel two-toned tights:

If that’s just too subtle for you, there’s this option, too, which frankly, is much less of a mind f*ck than those other ones somehow, because at least you can tell there’s SOMETHING on the legs:

I would feel very uneasy wearing these, because asymmetry stresses me out. These Chanel two-toned tights from a few years ago are more my speed:

Anyway, thanks again to Scott. I can now sleep better knowing  that woman purposely put on those tights, and it wasn’t some sort of horrible accident.

This weekend my brother came for a visit from Chicago, bringing my 5-year-old niece with him. (And he wouldn’t let me take her for a manicure! “She’ll get hooked…” I have no idea what he’s talking about. I only go like every five or six days tops to get my nails done.  Maybe I can convince Six to go? He likes a bit of flashiness sometimes. Anyway.)

I love to be a tourist in NYC, so we headed to Central Park to the Bethesda Fountain. And we saw a ballerina, complete with tulle tutu, doing some sort of photo shoot. Very Sex and the City circa 2001. I was much more excited than my niece, who was fascinated by the unnaturally electric green water in the boat pond. Oh, this guy showed up, too:

 While he’s wearing low-rise jeans and not dance tights, I have to assume he’s a dancer, too. Guys, if you doubt that male ballet dancers are athletes, I beseech you: LOOK AT HIS ABS. After gawking for a few minutes, we wandered on, following the sweet sounds of “Amazing Grace.”

After an impromptu ballet performace, a beautiful concert, and an extra-salty pretzel, I can say it was a damn good Saturday in our city.

Here’s the thing–I hate so-called discount stores. Loehmann’s, TJ Maxx, Filene’s? They annoy me. I feel like I have to dig through heaps of stuff that no one else wanted to find something remotely interesting, only to discover it’s not THAT much cheaper. (Or…I’m a shopping snob. I can totally admit it.)

But with Century 21 opening right in my backyard, I had to check it out, so made the ridiculous decision to go this past Sunday. Yes. In the middle of the day. Now, I’ve heard all the legends about fighting over the last pair of size 5  Manolo Blahniks so I thought I was prepared for the craziness. No.

A few observations:

1) People who shop at Century 21 are really, really into it.

2) They have some amazing shoe deals there. I saw size 37 Manolo booties  (at right) normally $1050 for $399. Unfortunately my huge platypus feet could not squeeze into them or they totally would have been mine.  Same thing with the Martin Margielas. Sigh.

3) Do not go in if: you need to use the bathroom, you’re thirsty, you hate to be touched, you hate to stand in line, you hate random piles of clothes, or you wear a size 9 and have posh taste in shoes. (Still bitter about those booties.)

4) There were some great things there, I have to admit. I got a fantastic Gryphon skirt (look ‘em up–very up-and-coming New York label) and a Marc x Marc Jacobs polka dot pencil skirt.

5) Never, ever say you’re ok with going into the community fitting room.

6) But once you say that, be prepared to wait in a line that looks like this:

OK. So I will definitely be a repeat customer at Century 21. It excited me. There was a lot of good fashion and the prices were fantastic. And if I see you holding a pair of size 9 Prada pumps I will not hesitate to knock you down and rip them from your hands.

I also happen to be a columnist there, and wrote about my recent experience at Zac Posen’s runway show at Lincoln Center. I even spoke to a celeb–Kelly Osbourne. (Come on, she is so a celeb.) Anyway. If you’d like to hear about the ins and outs of a fashion show–from rigid seating rules to street style photographer baiting–go check it out.

There’s been a lot going on in our hood. And of course–it’s fashion week! I’ll be in the tents at Lincoln Center again this season, so at a bare minimum I’ll toss up some good pictures, and get in a groove again this fall. Feedback appreciated! Upper West Side is back for the fall. Sort of.