Silly Bandz: The Hot New Children’s Accessory

If you don’t have children, you may not be aware of the newest craze on the playground. Silly Bandz are brightly colored rubber bands that are molded into shapes. Kids wear them stacked on their arms (much like the jelly bracelets of the 80s) but when removed, they retain their shape.

At $4.99 for a pack of 24, every single parent I know is saying, “Why didn’t I think of that?!?” And of course they have inspired more bootleg imitations than a Fendi Baguette. Every store on the UWS is carrying rubber band bracelets.

And I have to admit, they’re fun to wear. Even Sarah Jessica Parker was spotted wearing them.

However, be aware that they could kill your entire family. A quick Google search brings up several dire warnings about choking; a tourniquet effect wherein the bands cut off circulation to the hands; and parents committing homicide because their children were whining so much about buying them more Silly Bandz.

I kid, of course. Fifteen years from now our children will look back fondly and remember Crocs and Silly Bandz. In the meantime, I’m sick of picking them out of every crack and crevice in my home.

Silly bandz in their natural shape. And that black one is a microphone stand, you sickos.

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