The Gap Thinks You Look Horrible In Shorts

So I have not worn shorts in more than five years. I have always thought my legs were too short and chunky. But this summer I embraced the J.Crew boyfriend chino shorts, and have been thinking I’m sort of cute in them. Then I walked past the Gap (purveyor of shorts, mind you) and saw this sign:

Great! Back to the therapist….


Upper West Side Style Is Going To The Beach For A While

Every August I travel somewhere with MILo and the kids to escape the heat and stench of NYC in the summer. I’m very grateful to be able to do this, and I try to make the most of the time I have with the kids and various family and friends who visit. This year we’ll be in Montauk, a slow, quiet, and gorgeous little place on the eastern-most end of Long Island.

I’ll be keeping up the blog while I’m gone. There is just too much good blog fodder out there to ignore. I frequently have to go into the Hamptons for groceries and other errands. Last year I was standing in the Starbucks in East Hampton behind three men in blue blazers wearing ascots and talking about their horses. Things like this must be shared. Read More

Welcome to 1987. Not The Good Parts of 1987.

I was quite literally stopped in my tracks by this display in my local American Apparel store:

Q: What's wrong w/this picture? A: OMG, what ISN'T wrong with it??

You probably know about American Apparel. Their product is made in California. They are uber-trendy but they say they make basics. They hire very pretty people. As a matter of fact, they’ve had some trouble recently because of their alleged hiring practices and rules for employees. And their stock is in the dumps.

Well, after looking at this display, I can clearly see why. Obviously the center outfit is the offending one. You have:

  1. Bland colors
  2. Half shirt
  3. High-waisted mom pants

That’s about it. Isn’t that enough?? This is an 80s flashback fashion nightmare for me. Only a beanpole could ever hope to look good in these proportions. But why would you want to? Yuck.

A remake of “Whip It” by Lady Gaga I could accept. This beige high-waisted monstrosity? Someone call the Ghostbusters.

(Find this outfit at the UWS American Apparel stores: 2831 Broadway and 2103 Broadway)

Braless in Manhattan

Megan Fox goes braless at a "Transformers" premiere in Germany. Good lord. You are not Megan Fox. Please wear a bra.

I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend this summer. Well, some of you may not think it’s disturbing, but I sort of do. As you may be aware, we’ve had record high temperatures in NYC this July. It’s been effing hot. I have been wearing the most sack-like garments I can find.

I’ve noticed a lot of Upper West Side women, who don’t look at all like porn stars or strippers, going braless. I understand why. After a long day at work and a foul-smelling, crowded subway, the first thing I do when I get home (besides find my chocolate stash) is rip my bra off. They are uncomfortable. They accumulate pools of sweat.

But I don’t advocate walking down Broadway looking like this. I saw a mom pushing a toddler in a stroller with a tank top and no bra. A 20-something wearing a cute red peasant dress in Central Park. No bra. Read More

This Lotus Is Pretty Nice

Spotted on the UWS. I won't give the location. I don't want the poor thing to get hurt.

I was slogging through the ridiculous heat and humidity, lugging groceries, when I was stopped by this lovely little number on the street. I couldn’t usually care less about cars (except of course when rental companies promise me one then don’t deliver), but this one is sweet. And hot. Two good adjectives. I’m having daydreams of stepping out of it in some ridiculous black heels and tossing the keys to a grinning valet.

Oh, wait. The car seats wouldn’t fit in the back. Sigh.

Peer Groups Dress Alike. Shocker.

Cut off denim skirts, boxy white T's, sneakers, identical hobo bags. Creepy.

As an observer of style and fashion, I’ve noticed this phenomenon quite a bit. I’m sure it’s not a shocking revelation to all you sociologists out there, but peer groups tend to dress alike. I notice it constantly on the street. It appears in both genders and all ages.

This group really struck me because they are IDENTICAL. Two of the three were even carrying the exact same bag. I took advantage of my place behind them and shot this. (As a sidebar, I’m sure I garner some questioning looks from passersby for the weird shots I take. MILo is often embarrassed by my stealth-paparazzi methods. He is convinced I’ll be beat up one day. )

I’ve seen this happen with my friends, too, though I will never admit it. We are all unique dressers, damn it, and don’t look for the approval of our peer group.

Must go run and see what Celine is wearing out to dinner tonight….

Dollar Rent A Car Can Go Suck It

Today I’m going to use my unlimited power as a blogger (don’t laugh) to call out a really crappy company. I was living a Seinfeld episode yesterday; specifically this one:

I don’t own a car. Owning a car in the city can be really onerous and expensive. On the flip side, we sometimes can’t be very spontaneous. But we’ve made due with Zipcar and various traditional rental companies and have been fairly lucky. Until this weekend.

We decided to go out to Riverhead in LI to go to the Splish Splash water park. That is a story for another time, but suffice to say that it is a good thing I couldn’t carry my camera around in my bathing suit. There were some spectacularly awful tattoos there. But I digress as usual. Read More